I suffer from submechanophobia. I have a very real fear of submerged man-made objects.

• Penny Pink is afraid of any man-made objects underwater.
• She first realized that as a child visiting Universal Studios.
• Her phobia doesn't affect her day-to-day since she doesn't live by bodies of water. 

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Penny Pink. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was in sixth grade, I visited Universal Studios with my family. I was so excited to go on the Jurassic Park ride with my brother. I expected to be scared of the giant T-rex at the end, but I ended up being absolutely terrified by the small animatronic dinosaurs under the water. 

I had no idea why that little detail made me so uncomfortable. So, I tucked the fear away for a while. 

That worked until I was entering high school. I signed up for a kayaking trip on Lake Superior that involved paddling over shipwrecks. The description sounded so fun, and I was completely stoked to be on this trip with my friends. But as soon as I got to the wreck, I completely froze. I was literally petrified by a stronger fear than I'd ever experienced. 

My friends made fun of me when I tried to explain

At that moment, I couldn't do anything. Logically I knew there wasn't anything to be scared of. It wasn't like the ship was going to pop up and attack me. But I was completely chilled and terrified. Finally, I looked up at the sky and calmed myself enough to paddle away. 

My friends, like typical high schoolers, made fun of me. I tried to explain my fear to them. The ship wasn't supposed to be down there. I figured my fear was based on not wanting to be in danger — after all, something usually needs to go very wrong for a ship to end up on the bottom of an ocean or lake. But my friends thought that was weird. It's just a ship underwater, they told me. 

I didn't have the word for what I was experiencing

After that, I knew something was going on. But I didn't hear the word submechanophobia until YouTube recommended a video on the condition. As soon as I started watching, I felt so validated. I didn't know that submechanophobia — fear of submersed man-made objects — was a thing. 

Even though I'm terrified of man-made things underwater, I also have a twisted interest in them. I was one of those kids that were entirely obsessed with the Titanic — the movie, the actual event, all of it. 

So, last week I was glued to my phone as the world searched for the Titan, the submersible that went nearly two miles beneath the surface to look at the Titanic wreck before imploding. Thinking about being in that submersible gives me chills. Yet, like lots of people, I couldn't stop watching. 

I want other people to know about this phobia

I've accepted that submechanophobia is just one of those quirks I have. My life doesn't involve much time on the water, let alone the ocean, so my phobia usually doesn't affect my day-to-day life. I still get out and enjoy nature, although I definitely will never be signing up for shipwreck snorkeling on vacation. 

Still, sometimes my submechanophobia rears its head in unexpected ways. Last fall, I visited Venice with my mom. The city is — famously — sinking. Seeing all the submerged stairs, buildings built on posts, and other evidence of a city underwater had me on edge the whole time. I couldn't even enjoy the classic Venice gondola ride without fear.

It's important for me to share my condition. When I was in high school, I thought I was nuts for having this fear. More recently, I've connected with people on TikTok who also have submechanophobia, although I've never met someone in real life with the condition. But I wonder how many people are out there living with submechanophobia, unable to explain or understand what they are going through.

Watch:

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